Homeless

Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" Kirk asked.

"What would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim."

The homeless man was astounded "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

Kirk replied, "That's okay. I just want HER to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex."