The Talking Frogs

My husband is 67 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and could not see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there floating on the top was a frog. My husband said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up and kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and will give you the most wonderful sexual pleasures that you have ever dreamed of."

My husband looked at the frog for a short time and then reached over and picked it up carefully, placing it in his front breast pocket. Then the frog said, "What are you nuts, didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."

Once upon a time there was a frog who lived in a lake all by himself. He had been given special powers by a local witch.

One day he finally ventured out of the lake to get his first glimpse of the world outside. The first thing he saw was a bear chasing a rabbit and so he called out to them and asked them to stop. Then he said to them, "I am a magical frog and since you are the first two animals I have ever seen, I am going to grant you both three wishes. You will each take turns using them and you have to use them now.

The bear (being greedy) went first. "I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me." A magical sound and it was done.

Then the rabbit. "I would like a helmet." This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there was a helmet.

It was the bear's turn again. "I would like for every bear in the neighboring forest to be female." A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit went again. "I would like a motorcycle." Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn't just ask for a lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle, but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle.

The bear took his last wish. "I would like for all the bears in the world to be female except for me." A magical sound and it was done.

The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, said "I wish the bear was gay." And took off like a bat out of hell.