An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist asked, "How many?"

The man Replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."

Upon hearing that the pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex."

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past ninety years old, and I don't even think about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't Pee on my shoes."