Things that make you go hmmmmmm...

  • How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  • Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
  • Does killing time damage eternity?
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
  • Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
  • Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
  • Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
  • Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
  • Do pilots take crash-courses?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  • Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  • How can there be self-help "groups"?
  • How do you get off a non-stop flight?
  • How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
  • If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"
  • If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
  • If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
  • If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
  • If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
  • If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of ?
  • If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
  • If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?
  • If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
  • If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
  • Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
  • Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.On my desk, I have a work station....!!
  • If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
  • If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with,"Quit while you're ahead"?
  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
  • I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
  • I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
  • I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
  • Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
  • Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
  • How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
  • If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
  • Clones are people two.
  • If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
  • Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out OK.
  • If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  • Think "honk" if you're telepathic.
  • If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
  • I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
  • So what's the speed of dark?
  • How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
  • After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
  • Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
  • If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
  • Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
  • Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  • If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  • The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  • I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  • If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  • Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
  • If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  • Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
  • How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  • Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  • How is it possible to have a civil war? @#&%$!!!# ?
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
  • If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  • Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
  • Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?