21 Ways to be a good Democrat
- You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand
- You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.
- You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding
Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons
technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
- You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
- You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected
by soccer moms driving SUV's.
- You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.
- You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
- You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but
loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
- You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
- You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.
- You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.
- You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee, and Thomas Edison.
- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
racial quotas and set-asides are not.
- You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
nice person.
- You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.
- You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
- You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected,
and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal..
- You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.
- You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy.